[DISCLAIMER: We realise that this story has been around for a while since it was published in last week's Moscow Times, but decided to write about it only today in an hommage to Luke Harding.

Also, never believe anything until it appears on Gawker.]

As Obama finished his speech in Berlin, one spectator said the following to a Guardian journalist:

“I wanted to see [Obama] before he gets assassinated,” commented one Emo-looking youth… Who would assassinate Obama, exactly? “The military-industrial complex that runs America,” he replied flatly. But, if they’re already running America, why would they care? He shrugged and said no more.

Such a statement could never occur in Russia. Why?

Because all Emo teenagers may now be banned under a new law.

Seems like there are some advantages to living in an authoritarian government after all!

Naturally, the ban would come exactly at a time when Emo has just stopped being cool in Russia.

The text of the bill notes that

Emos… are from 12 to 16 years old and wear black and pink clothing. They have black hair with long bangs that “cover half the face,” black fingernails, black belts peppered with studs and pins, and ear and eyebrow piercings, the bill says.

The “negative ideology” of emo culture may push young people toward depression and social withdrawal, and the movement carries a significant risk of suicide, especially for young girls, according to the bill.

It is too early to speculate about the number of young girls that would commit suicide as a result of emo being banned, or the role of heavy pressure from the mullet lobby in the bill's inception.